This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 22, 2023
September 15
bIDeN iS In dEcLiNe AnD ToO OlD tO bE PrEsIdEnT https://t.co/Sles8i4wZk
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 16, 2023
Celebrities, my house is available for $5000/hr if you want to look poor in your apology video. Please bookmark just in case. https://t.co/h0ENUrF0AZ
— Luke Barnett 👨🏻🍼 (@LukeBarnett) September 16, 2023
PR team helps celeb apologize pic.twitter.com/EdjBiaF3CB
— Lily Sullivan (@LilyYily) September 15, 2023
If I was putting out a video denying criminal behaviour, I would do as many takes as it took to make sure there didn't have to be an obvious edit before the word "consensual".
— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish) September 16, 2023
I don't know what Russell Brand is guilty of, but from his response I do know he is more guilty than any man in recorded history
— john (@0bungler) September 16, 2023
This is literally a coming of age movie 😭 pic.twitter.com/kRKBGmg9Lu
— Ex Beyonce Fan (@kingbealestreet) September 15, 2023
Not an athlete being like "y'all just be in the gym for no reason???"
— Genie Lauren (@MoreAndAgain) September 15, 2023
It IS weird, Serena! It IS! 😂 https://t.co/CkRV965Nqu
Here is security footage of Lauren Boebert at a family-friendly musical performance before she was kicked out.
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) September 16, 2023
These are the same Republicans claiming that drag queens are "sexualizing" public spaces. pic.twitter.com/6vUd6j8sSq
I'm not slut shaming Lauren Boebert. You wanna be a hoe, live your best hoe life, booboo. Hoe life, foe life, ya know? But you can't be a "judgmental christian" and a respectable hoe. Pick a lane is all I'm sayin.
— jessica (@ItsMrsRabbitToU) September 16, 2023
It's fair to assume there's cameras everywhere now, but I've gotta admit: if you asked me to guess how good the night vision camera coverage of the audience at a Beetlejuice the musical show in Denver would be, I probably wouldn't have guessed this good
— Tom Gara (@tomgara) September 15, 2023
Just so I'm caught up: Lauren Boebert is 'pro-life' but vaped in a pregnant woman's face? And she wants to 'protect children' from drag queens but participated in sexual acts while at a family musical?
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 16, 2023
WHY is it always projection with these people?
Don't act like you've never been fingered at a regional production of Beetlejuice.
— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) September 16, 2023
I'm sorry but ripping clouds and playing grabass during beetlejuice is the coolest thing that awful lady has ever done
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) September 15, 2023
"Lauren Boebert was removed from a performance of Beetlejuice in Denver this week after she began to vape and engaged in sexual touching with her date. Political observers worry that Boebert is setting a dangerous example for young people by making musicals sound cool as hell." pic.twitter.com/39xFFIXwxC
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) September 16, 2023
September 16
Lauren Boebert has perhaps shown a desire to reach across the aisle here.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) September 16, 2023
I have got to get serious about dating again because I don't like the idea that lauren boebert is getting more action than me.
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) September 16, 2023
So hard to find a woman who vapes and is cool with you mashing her tits up at the Beetlejuice musical.
— Gareth Reynolds (@reynoldsgareth) September 16, 2023
Out of context this graphic looks like @chrislhayes is about to rock the nation pic.twitter.com/Iq4eOe8Qb7
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) September 16, 2023
The oracle, the seer https://t.co/CsxnLfDs3P
— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) September 16, 2023
Aged like sour milk. pic.twitter.com/jysRdEGJq6
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) September 16, 2023
Send a case of champagne to the writers room for this twist. Extraordinary stuff. https://t.co/VEwyb4OUFn
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) September 16, 2023
Remember guys, Pee Wee Herman was arrested for what Lauren Boebert did
— Liam Nissan™ (@theliamnissan) September 16, 2023
Remember when you could just wake up and say "mom I threw up" and that one phrase would erase every single responsibility for the day. I need that in adult form.
— niccoya ⭐️ (@niccoyat) September 16, 2023
If you love true crime, you'll love this twisted fact about a famous psychopath. #sillystuff #nottooserious #eggs pic.twitter.com/cJNoGUehQv
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) September 16, 2023
i worked retail for over five years, and my proudest achievement was when I served a mystery shopper and scored 0/5 because when they asked me for my recommendation for a luxury watch, I apparently looked up from my phone and said "girl I can't even read the time, no idea"
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) September 17, 2023
She tried to catch him slipping 😂 https://t.co/uS5468hnl1
— Q (@Que_Hill) September 16, 2023
The guy who filmed that Russell Brand video pic.twitter.com/oSGXRLOtUe
— Will Sebag-Montefiore (@wsebag) September 16, 2023
Genuinely unreal moment for a splice https://t.co/Wv22SzUTQl pic.twitter.com/WxcGH2jlPg
— Liv (@Liv_Agar) September 17, 2023
daniel sloss being the only comedian to speak on the record against russell brand, rare actual ally pic.twitter.com/STMtypHzzD
— 🙋♀️ (@ohsnapthfc) September 16, 2023
this photo isn't aging well in 2023 pic.twitter.com/G83DBdfBcs
— T (@trinawatters) September 16, 2023
The age of consent is 16 because 16 year olds bang each other, not because it's ok to have a girlfriend in year 10 when you're 42, Clive
— Madelaine Hanson (@MadelaineLucieH) September 16, 2023
Imagine a man named Michael not just coming after you for being a scab, but reaching back into your bloodline, all the way to the reign of King George V, to prove your ancestors were also scabs. I'd cry, y'all wouldn't see me again https://t.co/ZS5gEPY4Vu
— nylah (@yumcoconutmilk) September 16, 2023
Robert, it's Marvin! Your cousin Marvin Oppenheimer
— grace (@GraceSpelman) September 16, 2023
my hamster used to live in one of these https://t.co/BJplpl56rh
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) September 16, 2023
"Biden is too old," say the people whose presidential candidate clearly has advanced dementia. https://t.co/EdlXO8A2Zn
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) September 16, 2023
My old gym teacher on Facebook: Proud to announce the birth of my new grand baby. We love you Bander!😃
— Thomas (@len0killer) September 16, 2023
Me six beers deep in the comments: Been playin dodgeball like a mothafucka lately Coach G✌️
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